The Gamer Dad's Ultimate Survival Guide

Your routine will shift, your energy will dip, and your free time will all but vanish. But with a few adjustments, gaming can still have a place in your life — and it might even make you a better parent.

Gaming and Parenthood Aren’t Mutually Exclusive

When you’ve got a child on the way, it’s natural to feel anxious about how your life might change and whether you’ll still have time for the passions that made your life special before. As soon as that child is in your arms, though, you’ll realise that becoming a parent does fundamentally change who you are — and your priorities will shift, not because they have to, but because you actually want them to.

At the same time, if you want to be a good parent, it’s important to hold on to some semblance of yourself and find space for your own hobbies and progression. Despite what you might have been told, gaming is a perfect outlet for exactly that.

What Games Can Teach You About Being a Dad

There’s actually quite a lot about fatherhood we can learn from certain games. God of War and God of War Ragnarök tell the story of Kratos — someone who has to step away from the person he used to be and into the role of a father who wants to protect his son at all costs, and who later has to contend with the prospect of letting him go his own way. Similar stories exist throughout the Yakuza series and The Last of Us. Whether those stories end well or not, there’s always something to take from them.

Gaming can also teach you habits you didn’t know you needed. In my twenties, I was completely prone to procrastination — spending hours staring at the wall because I couldn’t rouse myself from whatever paralysis I found myself in. During lockdown, I got into Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley, and started to see the value of doing a little bit of something each day and building small micro-routines that cascade into something greater. I didn’t fully understand what I was doing until I later read Atomic Habits by James Clear, but I was flexing that muscle of building good habits — habits that are essential when you’re looking after kids.

The Three Big Constraints: Time, Energy, and Money

You don’t need some grand moral justification to keep gaming after becoming a parent. But what you will need is a release. And if gaming is your favourite hobby or the place you go to escape the pressures of real life, then parenthood is actually a great time to find the games you enjoy — you’ll just have to change the way you play them.

The three biggest constraints as a parent gamer are time, energy, and money. Your routine will keep shifting as your child gets older, and it’s really about finding pockets of time you can use for yourself. If they’re young enough to nap, that could be the perfect window to squeeze in an hour or so of gaming. When they’re very young, you’ll often get “nap trapped” — your kid falls asleep on you, you can’t move, and the only option is to quietly pick up a controller. Just make sure you switch off all the sounds and vibrations first.

Beyond naps, you’re looking at early mornings or late nights once everyone else has gone to bed. If you’re lucky enough not to need much sleep, this is the perfect time for your own projects and hobbies. Family members who help with childcare are also golden opportunities — not exclusively for gaming, but definitely for catching up on everything you need for yourself.

Adjust Your Expectations (and Your Game Library)

One thing you’ll have to completely readjust is how long it takes to get through a game. It took me around eight months to finish the main story of God of War Ragnarök, and there are plenty of games I simply haven’t been able to reach the end of.

You’ll also want to think carefully about what you’re playing. Anything you can’t pause — competitive online games, battle royales — becomes incredibly difficult when a child could interrupt you at any moment. The only time I’ve ever been close to winning on Fall Guys, my son woke up and threw up all over me. That was the end of that.

Turn-based and strategy games, on the other hand, are ideal. You can put them down for five minutes and nothing changes. I’ve found myself doing the dishes or preparing bottles while thinking through my next move or planning a build for later. Open-world games that let you complete a side quest in thirty minutes are also great — at least you’ve made some progress and feel like you’ve actually done something. Cozy games that let you play gently without too much stress are another solid option. I found games like Elden Ring, for instance, left me so wired after a boss fight that I had too much adrenaline to sleep — which is the last thing you need when a child might wake up at any moment.

Gaming Together: It Gets Even Better

When your kids reach a certain age, they’ll want to play with you — and this is where things can genuinely evolve. The most-played game in our house right now is Pokémon Snap, simply because it’s accessible enough for my nearly-four-year-old to operate. I’m even considering Mario Party for the first time in my life.

I recently took my son Gabriel to the Science and Industry Museum in Manchester, where they have a big gaming exhibit. We sat on a couch playing an old FIFA game together, both on the same side as Liverpool against Everton, just passing the ball back and forth. We drew nil-nil, but he was absolutely made up that he could pass and do little skills by accident. You just have to learn not to get frustrated if they’re not playing the game “properly.” He still hasn’t worked out how to move characters with the joystick, so he just mashes face buttons — but we discovered that in Astrobot, he can practically carry a level on his own in the flying sections, and the pride on his face was something else.

The One Gaming Hack Every Parent Needs

For the times you do want to play on your own, there is one genuinely excellent hack: get into handheld gaming. Whether it’s retro handhelds, a streaming device like the PlayStation Portal, or a full handheld gaming PC, the ability to play away from the TV — or even just beside it while the kids watch their programmes — keeps a low profile and means the controller is far less likely to get taken off you.

Being a parent gamer isn’t about neglecting your kids. It’s about finding the right balance between your priorities towards them and towards yourself. If you look after yourself, you’ll be a much better parent for it.